Initiated

There is a tale told around Tesco about the crazy interesting lady that rides around on one of the store’s scooters and will give you a sweet if you are her lapdog help her properly. I thought I knew who she was, but wasn’t precisely sure since I have helped her before and never received a sweet for it. In all honesty, the internet shoppers run from people like that. We are actually timed on our shopping and people like that can eat up your time…which leads to questions from the back room as to how it took you 30 minutes to pick 20 items. Anyway, I saw her out of the corner of my eye in the water aisle yesterday and thought I could make a run for it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough…that scooter sure can move!

Let me tell you, that woman is there every Monday and she’s up and down every one of those aisles. She probably knows where most everything is as well as everyone of us that works there. She needed non-alkaline detergent (what???) and window cleaning cloths – 5 aisles from her hunting ground where she found me. I proceeded to show her every window cleaning cloth Tesco sold. She asked me questions as if I was a window cleaning cloth salesman. I just kept reading the words from the package over and over again. Then I came to discover that she wasn’t really happy because she wanted 2 of the same cloth in different colors. Her window cleaning lady cleans with 2 different colors, so that has to be the way to go. After a painful 10 minutes she decided she better see if the window cleaning lady could purchase exact replicas of her cloths for her. Uggh! Now on to the non-alkaline detergent.

The detergent was not for clothes, but a cleaner for her damn new windows. Something about the aluminium around them. All I could put my finger on was a stainless steel cleaner that didn’t have the word ‘non-alkaline’ on it anywhere. Crap! Then came my Tesco savior – Paul – he’s worked there since the store opened and knows where EVERYTHING is. He gets sweets from the crazy lady all the time. He came down the aisle and I started to descend upon him before the lady told me to grab him…’he’ll know!’ Well, between the 2 of us we found her a plant-based, non-chemical, no scratch cleaner for stainless steel, chrome, and aluminium. And it was only 95 pence, so she said she’d take it. Thankyouverymuch!

Then her had went to her pocket and out came 2 Werther’s Originals…just for me! (And Paul only got one, by the way. But I may owe him a whole bag of sweets for helping me end the pain find what she was looking for.) I am now an official member of the exclusive 'sweetie for your obedience' Tesco club!